Is JudgeMENTAL in the courtroom?

When I was a young girl, my mom made up a game that I used to love. Whenever we found ourselves in a public place where we could observe people,  mom would pick a person or a group of people and make up stories about them.

"His name is Marvin and he's thirty-two and sells cars at the VW dealer."

"Her name is Debbie and she is totally bored listening to him talk about the deal he made this afternoon. She is thinking about what color she's going to paint her nails when she gets home."

The game seemed innocent enough at the time, but when I started to teach it to my own daughter, I soon realized that the game should have been called the Judgmental Game!

I have struggled in the past with being quick to judge others and have really worked on staying open and receptive rather than making assumptions. A deep seated fear of being judged by others was at the root of my judgmental tendencies. I began to notice that, when I was feeling insecure and unsure of myself, I would look outside of myself for approval. Often, rather than risk that I might not find the approval I was seeking, I would look at others with a critical eye. "Well at least I'm not as fat as Mary". "Thank goodness I didn't say something stupid like Denise just said". "My relationship is so much healthier than Sue's".

The problem with judgments is that they are NEVER true! We are all here living, learning and growing. The judgments that we make about others are simply a reflection of our own feelings of insecurity. Judgments are created in our minds, and being JudgeMENTAL takes us away from our hearts and the truth of who we really are.

One of my favorite practices that keeps JudgeMENTAL safely locked in his chambers, is to say, "I see the Divine being that you are." Not only does this work when I feel myself about to judge another, but it's a way to fill myself up with my own approval so that I remember that I don't need it from anyone else but ME!