NEVER QUIT!

A few years ago, a dear friend of mine shared about her struggle with bulimia. I was amazed that, after many years, she had navigated a way through the self-loathing and self-destructive behavior and had come to a place of peace with her body. When I queried her about what it was that helped her overcome her issues with food, she said, "I never quit"!

I've heard people say this before and to me it always sounded like a foreign language. What does it really mean to "never quit"?

For me, "never quitting" means that I accept that certain things will be challenging and that I won't always "get it" on the 1st, 2nd or 100th try. Sometimes it means looking at the issue from a different perspective, asking for help or shaking things up and doing something radically different.

Lately, I've discovered that "radically different" means that I stop paddling upstream and just go with the flow. Instead of focusing on trying to fix myself, I shift my focus and ask, "How can I bring more love & joy into my life in this moment?" "How can I bring more love & joy to others?"

My friend said that when things got really bad and she felt like giving up, she volunteered at a soup kitchen. Giving to others shifted her perspective and soon her problems didn't seem so overwhelming anymore!

ME, MYSELF & I

I treat myself with the utmost care, love and respect because ME, MYSELF and I are in it together for the long haul!

Mother/daughter bonding

When I was 11 years old, my mother took me to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I was just starting to develop curves, ate when I was hungry, enjoyed being outside with my friends and did not need to be on a diet!

The truth is that my mother wanted company so that she wouldn't have to diet alone.


I think I would have preferred a dance class!

"F U" DAYS

When my daughter was moving into her teen years, there were days when the morning ritual of figuring out what to wear to school would turn into tearful, angst-filled meltdowns. We decided to call these "F U Days", for "fat" and "ugly".

No matter how many times I would tell her how beautiful she was or how great those jeans looked on her, my words could not penetrate the wall of self-loathing she had built up in that moment. What my daughter really needed was acknowledgment that there were some days where she just wanted to wallow in whatever drama her mind had created.

Sometimes she would stomp around for a while and then leave the house still embodying the FU energy. Other days, we would end up laughing at how ridiculous it was that we could feel great about our bodies one day and the very next day think they were the ugliest thing in the world.

The biggest lesson I learned from this stage of raising a daughter, was the importance of giving feelings a place to be fully expressed so that they ultimately dissolve into the nothingness from which they came. When I resist and suppress feelings that I label "irrational", "unevolved" or in any way negative, I allow them to fester in some dark corner of my psyche.

Goddess says, "When you're having an F U DAY, give it your ALL and make it the best F U DAY that you can possibly imagine. Stomp around. Have a temper tantrum. Write a complaint letter to the universe. Then love yourself back to center."

Jonny Diaz 'A More Beautiful You'

Comfort food

Tonight, after a long car ride to bring my daughter back to Boston, she suggested a nearby Jewish Deli for dinner. I was really in the mood for some comfort food and deli food fit the bill perfectly!

When I was growing up, my grandfather and his 2 brothers owned Zietz's Delicatessen and some of my fondest memories took place at that restaurant. My Papa always made my favorite lunch, 1/2 a corned beef on rye with a side of his famous potato salad and a barrel pickle. It wasn't just the food, which was delicious, but the love that I felt from my Papa as he served his first grandchild. I felt like a princess in that deli!

On my journey of learning to listen to what my body wants and needs, there are many times when my emotions take over and I want to eat something purely because of the memories associated with that particular food. When I push these feelings aside and think that I should be eating something healthier, I deny an important part of my emotional makeup and end up feeling deprived. When I honor ALL of who I am and indulge that little girl with the memory of her mommy's loved-infused mac and cheese, I find myself being satisfied after just a few bites.

Goddess says, "Honor yourself by feeding yourself on all levels~ physical, spiritual AND EMOTIONAL!

Can I come over?

When I was growing up, my mother's best friend, Linda, was an ever present fixture in my life. On a regular basis, Linda or my mother would call the other on the phone and ask, "can I come over?" These visits were always accompanied by an endless stream of coffee and "a little nosh".

I loved when they let me eavesdrop on their gossip sessions, listen to them describe a new recipe that was "to die for" or discuss what they would wear to Friday night's cocktail party.

There were many times that I was told to go out to play or go find something to do because they needed to talk about "grown up things". I would hear whispers and sometimes tears as they helped each other through some mysterious adult problem.

When my mother decided to divorce my father and move to California with her boyfriend, her friendship with Linda ended and they never spoke again. I never knew what really transpired, but I suspect it was a very painful ending to a long friendship.

Most of us lead very different lives than our mothers and grandmothers did. We are single mothers, career focused, have home based-businesses or live far from family and friends. The days of going to a neighbors to borrow a cup of sugar and lingering for conversation and support, are mostly a thing of the past, but our need for connection and support from other women has not disappeared.

Goddess says, "Women are a source of great strength for each other. Make time for nurturing and healing relationships with the women in your life"

THE WOMANLY ART OF ADORNMENT

One of my greatest pleasures in being a woman, is to adorn myself in ways that express the many facets of who I am. From the time I was a little girl, watching my mom get ready to go out, I loved all the "trappings" of femininity.

Over the years, during challenging times, I have fallen into periods where all I could manage was to put on an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans, with no makeup or jewelry. My message to the world- "I don't really give a damn what I look like, I'm COMFORTABLE"!

Imagine that you are an artist, and your face and body are your canvas. You have a bountiful "palette" composed of beautiful fabrics, luscious colors, sensuous textures and sparkling jewels, from which to chose from. Adorn yourself in ways that are pleasing to you. Add a touch of color to your lips as you head out the door. Throw on a silky scarf that you will feel caressing your neck throughout the day.

Goddess says, "Even something as simple as putting a flower in your hair, can remind you that YOU ARE A GODDESS!"

Show the world who you really are!

What is one thing about your appearance that sets you apart and makes you uniquely you? Is it your sparkling green eyes, your slender hands or the freckles that playfully dance across your nose? Your wild and wonderful curls, voluptuously curvy body or your muscular hiker's calves?

We spend so much time trying to fix parts of us that we feel aren't right, that we forget to celebrate that we have been given the wonderful gift of living in a human body!

Today, instead of trying to "tame" my hair into submission, I allowed it to go curly in the humidity (if you can call what we have in Arizona humidity). I love the way it feels to go "au natural" and just be ME!

"Your unique assets are your 'signature' that shows the world who you really are!"

PASSIONATE WOMAN

pas·sion \ˈpa-shən\ noun

1. extreme, compelling emotion; intense emotional drive or excitement; specif.,
   1. great anger; rage; fury
   2. enthusiasm or fondness: a passion for music
   3. strong love or affection
   4. sexual drive or desire; lust
2. the object of any strong desire or fondness

How do we, as women, express our passion out in the world? For so long our culture has " tsk, tsked" our overt expressions of passion. An angry woman is a bitch. A woman expressing her sexuality is a whore. An articulate, vocal woman may be labeled "too much" or "not knowing her place"!

As we free ourselves from the societal pressures to conform, the world receives the full expression of our passion.

A passionate woman uplifts others with the divine energy that pours out from her heart. A passionate woman is expansive and sees infinite possibilities. A passionate woman creates beauty with her words, her art and her very being. A passionate woman cares deeply about humanity and will use everything in her power to bring healing to the world.

Tap into the infinite well of passion that is your birthright as a woman. Let your passion guide you in all you do!

DIVINE FEMININE EMERGING

Have you felt it? Recently I have felt an incredible wave of Divine Feminine energy surging through me and rising up in the world. Women in my life describe an awakening, a desire to emerge from the box they have put themselves in. We are moving past barriers at lightening speed. There is a sense of urgency, recognition that we no longer have time to waste because the world needs women to lead the way in healing and transformation.

A spirit of collaboration and cooperation is also revealing itself as we grapple with the damage that competition has done to the heart and health of our planet. Women are joining together to share the responsibility and joy of what we are here to offer the world.

Goddess says, “Rise up and take your place in the circle of women. Lean into your sisters and know that together we are changing the vibration of the planet!”